WTSP – LACOOCHEE, Florida — For 12 hours, Pasco County dispatchers received calls about a kangaroo on the loose in Lacoochee. Deputy Gene Smith thought it was a prank.
Then came the call at 6:45 a.m. on Sunday, June 2. The rambunctious ‘roo was apparently approaching the area around U.S. 301.
“Sure enough, there was a kangaroo in the middle of the road,” he says. In his 17 years of service, he says he’s never responded to a call like that.
I love Kangaroos. They’re can look so dumb and stupid but at the same time they’re hilarious and just absolute bosses of animals. All you have to do is look at this article; cops try to taser it, the kangaroo shrugs it off like nothing happened and keeps hopping along. They have to fucking tranquilizer the hell out of it to have any chance of capturing it. The thought of a drugged out kangaroo also very much appeals to me. I can imagine how fucked up it must have been. I feel like I can hang out and chill with a kangaroo, watch a movie, maybe grab a bite to eat, and have an amazing time. We can literally become best friends. Ever since seeing Kangaroo Jack back in like ’04 I’ve been a huge fan of these animals. I know Govenor-chay basically masturbates to the thought of having a pet polar bear but I’d actually love to own a pet kangaroo. Just me and my kangaroo chilling hard 24/7 eating twizzlers.
Cue the real life Jackie Legs.
ps…if they don’t end up finding the owner then the Lacoochee police department NEEDS to hit me up because I will take custody of this ‘roo in a second